Monthly Archives: January 2013

I like this guy

So I do not  like Woo Woo. The official description of woo woo to me is touching your inner spirit or  praying to trees, you know general over the top hippy crap. Then there is the “I see dead people” aspect as well. Guess what….I got the woo woo. Now I did not ask for this but I come from a family of secret woo woo. My sister describes it as being “Gods girls”.  My mom told me I was born dead….yep blue and gone. Then she started praying and I started breathing.

Now understand, I have fought the good fight. When I feel compelled to talk to strangers about issues I know they carry deep and want to discuss. I fight it. When I walk into a room and feel the weight of past occurrences that were not pleasant I fight it. When I feel the need to pray for someone at the grocery store I have never met…ok I have always done that one because it is not intrusive and my dirty little secret. 

I kinda wish my big secret was of a sexual nature. You see this is more accepted than the fact I come from a long line of strong women who change peoples lives. 



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January 31, 2013 · 7:10 pm

Shhh They are listening

His face was wet when he kissed me goodbye this morning. Now realize that his regular use of eye drops is probably the reason. But it give me pause.


The boys were laughing the other day as they were talking about actors. Now understand my family is made of artist. Performance artist who get paid. This quote is on my fridge:


An actor without techies is a naked person standing in the dark trying to emote; A techie without actors is a person with marketable skills.

Read more at Suite101: Quotes and Jokes for Techies of the Theatre | Suite101 
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These guys are funny. Now when I was 12 someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was already hooked on applause like a crack whore looking for the next fix. I told them “ I wanna act and I wanna eat.” I have successfully done both for about 39 years so yay me. Point is sometimes they forget I am in the room.


So back to the conversation. They were lamenting a particular problem on a show which techies are known to do, when Joe said “There is a reason they call them talent” he was referring to having to modify a prop so the actor could use it properly. This made me laugh. He has been sleeping with talent for 26 years. He knows I am smart and funny so he would die if I took that comment to heart. I think the particular blessing in my life is living between the two worlds of magic. I get to soak up the love and stand in the dark, knowing that without me the applause would not be. Oh and I am like the others in my tribe a drama queen, so never try to work in what things mean.  I will allow you to muse on your own. Just remember the disclaimer above.


So when his face was wet this morning I choose to attribute it to eye drops. I also love him for sleeping with the enemy….shhhh techies really love us they just need more kudos.

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Tribute to Terrible

Hello my Nemesis we meet once again. Of course you know I do not want to play with you. I find your sneakiness irritating and your ego over-inflated  So I will sing you my tribute song and then you must scoot sir.


In the key of C similar music to George’s The way she moves


Something in the way he moves attacks me like no other motherfu….no you do not get to ruin that one.



Ah got it


Your a mean one Mr Stench, your flop makes so ill….my stomach turns to knots my voice is shrill….nope I love me some Seuss you cannot have that one.


Unfortunately I do not write original music so I refuse to allow you to ruin composition by genuis.


Ah my way, a poem:

Ode to an asshole hmmm to easy..


Go I do not need you anymore it is ok little bird stop your fluttering in my tum

Go I do not want you anymore the future is not written even the tiniest sum


I said Go your very presence makes all situations worse

Go and take your venom and your verse


Leave my heart, my head my chest, my breath, my soul

Take your sidekicks as well allowing you in my life has gotten very old


Anxiety my ticklish friend I am also speaking to you

The what if the maybe I the cant be true


You are not welcome in this world, my world, my desire

This one cannot pay the extra baggage fee you require


So now you are bound, not welcome, not free to take my soul

I know you think you are powerful but to me asshole you are just old.


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Stat update

I have to apologize for my stats…I realized it could be hurtful. I posted I have four kids and tons of “fake” ones. I would like to rephrase I have 3 children whom I acquired in joyful pain-filled antiseptic rooms. The others I found on my journey. Since the word fake feels a little odd we will just say I would stop a train with my body for any of them. Glad we got that cleared up. Have a great night.


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Out Giving God

So I sent out the love that was due to the Mirage. Now I want to explain how this works. You see I am a God girl. That does not mean I will judge you, that is not my job. What my job is from what I can fathom, is to show you he loves you. He wants you to be happy. He is the dad you never had. 

Our earth dads try so hard to be perfect for us but as with many things in life some are not very good at their jobs. Our heavenly Father does not have this issue. See he is really good at his job. I was blocked for years from getting this because traditional church teaches us God the Father. My dad tried really hard, but was not very good at being a father. So when I continuously heard God the Father. I was just waiting for the insult or the spanking or worst yet the invisibility. But that is not who he is. So if you need to readjust your thinking like I did. Close your eyes imagine the one person in the world that loves you the most, now give them a 2.0 update. Yep that’s it.

So if you are beating yourself up like the little guy who lost way too much money in Vegas or are wondering if that outfit will send the wrong message like the beautiful lady in the airport bathroom. Don’t look for validation here just look up. Cuz he sees you and he thinks you are the coolest kid he has ever known.

Oh and all those buildings with tax breaks and crosses…they are kinda like people some are real, some are fake, some are kind and some are cruel. So be wise and kind to yourself first. Look up start a conversation then seek out like minded people. You will be fine Dad told me so.

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gestena or Thank you Mirage Las Vegas

I just spent 4 days in an alternative universe. One filled with vampires, zombies, fairies, and a Minotaur. It was amazing.
The universe I speak of is a 6 hour plane/walk/wait away. You see Delta is not my favorite airline.
But Mirage is my favorite Casino/hotel.

Here is why. Kindness. Among the throngs of glassy eyed 20 somethings, desperate lost souls and grannies who “need a new pair of shoes”. I found kindness. This was amazing to me completely unexpected and very appreciated.

I should explain. I have an autoimmune disease which can be tricky. It makes me think everything is OK then slams me to the ground. This only happens when I do not get enough rest or I am stressed, according to my Dr. I find this amusing. You see the two things you get on every roll in Vegas are stress and no rest. Now you are wondering why I chose to go to the place that never sleeps?
Because I love my son, he loves his girlfriend, we all love my husband. So when he got us a Christmas present we would never forget. A four day all expenses paid trip with this beautiful girl and him. Well you see why we had to go. Plus I have seen it on TV my whole life and was really curious. Glad we went but back to the story.

Because of this my disease I wake up on average 2 to 4 hours before the rest of the world. Here is the good stuff. Vegas does not sleep. No really, not like NYC “the city that never sleeps” like for real they do not sleep. They have highly trained dealers that do shifts so the tables are always covered. Now as you can imagine even Vegas has a slow period or two. One of the slower times FYI is between the hours of 4 and 6 am.

Things I did not know:
you can sit at a table and not gamble if there are no players waiting
the waitress will bring you coffee and it is free
They are trained to not listen to your conversations
They are amazing people who have seen the world through many eyes very wise souls, even the young ones

So here I am old broad without the capacity to stay in bed. Hurting all over I slowly approached the table and was welcomed by Johnny. He is originally from the far east but has been here a while. He was so kind, even when the young man sat down and lost thousands as I begged him to stop playing. Then I met Mark, Kevin, Ray, Tami, Fahima,Bobby, the precious girl that gave me extra cream before I asked, the wonderful treatment at the Spa. Thanks ladies. To the exhausted Casino host that tried to help me figure out how the player cards worked. I cannot list all the kindness that was heaped upon me from the bellmen to the front desk to the casino to the restaurants to the spa to the security.

SO if you must see Vegas and you should :
see every Cirque show you can afford
drink lots of water
get plenty of rest, before you go
buy some good tennis shoes
do not go to the Circus Circus, it will make you sad
go downtown it is fun
always, I mean always stay at the Mirage


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Rainbows do not exist without Rain

I have to remember this.  It is hard when you are wet. But worth it. My mantra this year is “DO SOMETHING” .  I have plans to do lots, then life laughs.  I will accomplish my goals, I will get my project going. I will do it slowly with contemplation. The last one is not my idea, but I have to respect my body for the first time in my life. That is the hardest part. For fifty odd years I have told my body what to do and it does it, without question. On occasion it complains, but never questions. Now the Riddler has invaded and the questions demand stillness. Which by the way I suck at. But it is ok. Sometimes being still makes us think and I am learning I do not do enough of that. Contemplation is something I always reserved for Guru types. Turns out it is cool for regular folks too.

I watched Atlas Shrugged the other day. I never was introduced to the books officially. I have often overheard my very educated friends/family mention Ann Rand but never had the time to consider her. Smart broad. I recommend it. I have to admit the ideas are sound. Sad but sound. I was listening to Dave Ramsey the other day he said the number one thing people in the multiple millions club was ethics and money does not have a personality. I have to be still but maybe it is just because I needed to learn this lesson. I have fought the man my whole life, maybe I should have spoken to him first.


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