Shattered Illusion

creepy rats

Found this photo will not read the article. I am sure it is brilliant but I am posting it because it kinda goes along with a dream I had last night. SO I love my fake oldest child a lot. He has been on my mind a lot. I often think of him at the holidays because the hoarder in me wants all my kids under my feet from Dec 23rd to Jan 2nd. Cannot help it the heart wants what it wants. I sent him a poke on FB yesterday and I guess I had him on my mind as I drifted off to sleep. Now having a dream about a child you miss is common and predictable. But this child lives in NYC the same NYC I secretly/openly want to live in. I would rock that town. You see it is filled with people and I kinda love people. Enough said…fade in I am walking down the street with my child arm in arm on a beautiful sunny cold Queens morning. We are laughing as we order our favorite bagels with schemer/cream chese…we get back to his apt and he is so excited to show me his new pet. This is a huge deal because he works an average of 70 hours a week and has never had a pet. He runs up the stairs yelling come on lets see if she is awake. As I get to the top of the stairs I see his glowing face as he directs me to the bedroom. Where he has a cage with a tiny mouse in it. I kinda hate rodents but I really love him so I soldier up and tell him how cute it is. I choose not to hold it but tell him how cute etc…I asked him where he got the mouse and he tells me since Sandy they are everywhere. As he is telling me about his rescue efforts I see a bulge in the ceiling that slowly spits open and rats start climbing down the wall as he joyfully completes his story. Then I woke up and realized why I will never live in NYC. I am completely unaware of the amount of unfettered wildlife that enjoy an urban landscape on my visits because NYC and I stay on a honeymoon high. But sadly this dream brought home one of the mega reasons I could never live there. Don’t be sad NYC I will continue to save money and visit as frequently as I can. I will still tell everyone about your magic and abundance of love that many do not see. I just have to now admit to myself I will live out the rest of this roller coaster in Texas.

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